Dear Week: You have sucked. I’m really trying to make you better, but you need to cooperate.
Dear OPI La Paz-Itively Hot Nail Polish: You are the perfect pink, pearlescent color, and the fact that you came as a duo with a nail clipper and file, that makes you even sweeter.
Dear Fox Sweater from Target : People at work think I’m wearing Garanimals for adults, but I love you anyways. I told Ashley that you were Too Cool For School, so that’s why you belong to momma and not her!
Dear Camp Kesem: I’m dropping my babies off this weekend. Please, please, please take care of them. Encourage them to push their limits and be adventurous. Although my battle with cancer is behind them, they still need to vent to someone else and be around kids who have/are dealing with the same issues.
Dear Monthly Bills: I want to understand why every single one of you are crazy high lately including water ($300???), electric ($500???) and even gas ($4.20/gallon????) WTF? This girly is NOT rich, and that won’t be changing any time soon. I want to karate chop you all in half – that would make me feel much better.
Dear Dumbass Who Pulled the Fire Alarm At Work: I did not appreciate having to interrupt my lunch to go and stand outside in the pouring rain. So not cool. I also didn’t appreciate having to listen to the alarm blare for another 20 minutes because no one knew how to turn it off. That was REALLY not cool.
Dear 5:00: PLEASE HURRY.